I made a lot of plans tonight and bailed on them all.
Oops.
Sorry not sorry.

dutchster:

Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?

(via sortofalexithymian)

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Kathleen and I are in America and we decided to get a pedicure and I just keep getting more and more done because I don’t know how to say no and English is not the first language in this situation and now there are fireworks and sparkles on my toes and like I am just not a fireworks and sparkles on my toes kind of person.

End rant.
Run on sentence of the year.

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blurboy:

captainlitebrite:

crystallinedemons:

imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room  stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom

   

Reasons like this make me happy I’m a gryffindor.

(via diceman)

" But I have infinite tenderness for you. I always will. All my life long. "
rowena: i'm looking over the plans
godric: yeah
rowena: what's this weird series of rooms accessible only by a hatch in a room on the right hand side of the third floor corridor
godric: oh that's for if we ever need to hide a priceless artifact for some reason
rowena: why would we hide a priceless artifact in a school
godric: safest place
rowena: fucking is it though?? there's a giant snake somewhere
[in the distance]
salazar: there's no snake you are wrong stop being wrong

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dajo42:

when you and your best friend both think the same thing

image

THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FACE THE WEAVE AND I MAKE AND I CANT EVEN.

(via diceman)

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